The chapel secretary here at Macalurin Chapel gave me a prayer she really appreciated by the Catholic contemplative Thomas Merton. It was a real gift for me. Funding for my position planting a church here in Auckland finishes in February (the people who have been funding this project have been faithful for the three years they committed to and sadly the church plant isn't at the stage where it is going concern financially). So I find myself in the position of having to reevaluate what I have done and am doing, my sense of call, vision, and where to from here. Merton wrote it during a difficult and dark time in his life and it has spoken to many people who face similar times. I share it with you
O Lord God,
I have no idea where I am going,
I do not see the road ahead of me,
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself,
And that fact that I think
I am following Your will
Does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe
That the desire to please You
Does in fact please You.
And I hope I have that desire
In all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything
Apart from that desire to please You.
And I know that if I do this
You will lead me by the right road,
Though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore I will trust You always
Though I may seem to be lost
And in the shadow of death.
I will not fear,
For You are ever with me,
And You will never leave me
To make my journey alone.
Source: Thomas Merton, Pax Christi, Benet Press, Erie, PA.
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